Today was Justin's birthday he turned 18 today they came over for dinner and they opened xmas gifts there was so much snow on the 24 and 25 dec .They had a nice time we talked about you and how you use to wrap gifts you always made them so beautiful and how much work it took to open than we laughed we miss you very much sweetie.They took most of the food homeI wont be home to eat it.
I am going to see Ashley and Lori I leave on Tues I must be nuts going in the cold but I have to see my new grandson but I have to go see the little guy you would be so proud I wish you would have been here for your brothers son an uncle again but I know you can see him from where you are we just can not see you.Your spirit lives on I know .I miss you love you always and forever and beyond till we meet again your loving Mother

I have many wonderful momeries of xmas that have passed I shall treasure as long as I live I shall try not to cry for you but I see you as clear as a bell just as the song says you loved xmas most of all holidays you had that twinkle in your eye when ever you gave someone a gift or when you got one and I shall always remember that.You where such a sweet boy.
Last xmas was a sad one for me for you had lost that joy due to all the pain killers you where on but I was with you is all that matters to me and in my heart you shall live on and on please know that I shall love you forever and in my heart you shall live on .
My Son you left too soon but it was your lifes journey I had always planned to go first but that was not how it happen so here I am xmas eve missing you and wishing I could hold you and feel you and hear you say hey mom it smells so good what are you cooking, this year my boy I am not cooking dinner I shall go see you brother he is making dinner tomorrow but I am making some meat balls to take along.
I have candles burning like I do every night for you but tonight I just lite a few more than I do. I am lighting the way for your love to enter even if I can not see you I know you are beside and now and always I shall one day fly with you my angel.
There is nothing on this earth that I would want more than to have you to hold me again that shall never be but my soul knows you are part of me always now and forever that is a bond between a mother and her son I carried alone just me and you my sweetness you where under my heart for nine months how can you not be apart of me .So Benji this xmas my hope is like the song says if maybe there is a heaven I shall be with you again.That is my hope blessed xmas my son.Love you forever and beyond your Mother.

It is going to be 11 months tomorrow that you are gone I miss you so much.I get so sad thnking about how you suffered but now you are in a better place where there is no pain your spirit is free.I shall always miss you even if I know you have no more pain I am going to go to a candle light service tomorrow with parents that have lost children they are the only ones that understand my sorrow and pain and know what it is like to miss a child I love you Benji now and forever and beyond.Your Mother I shall forever be in this life.