Benjamin Paul Epp Tribute

Benjamin Paul Epp online Memorial

Memories of Benjamin Paul Epp

Hi Benji

Susan ( 3 days ago)

Today was Justin's birthday he turned 18 today they came over for dinner and they opened xmas gifts there was so much snow on the 24 and 25 dec .They had a nice time we talked about you and how you use to wrap gifts you always made them so beautiful and how much work it took to open than we laughed we miss you very much sweetie.They took most of the food homeI wont be home to eat it.
I am going to see Ashley and Lori I leave on Tues I must be nuts going in the cold but I have to see my new grandson but I have to go see the little guy you would be so proud I wish you would have been here for your brothers son an uncle again but I know you can see him from where you are we just can not see you.Your spirit lives on I know .I miss you love you always and forever and beyond till we meet again your loving Mother

My Frist Xmas With Out You My Son

Susan (Dec 25, 2008)

I have many wonderful momeries of xmas that have passed I shall treasure as long as I live I shall try not to cry for you but I see you as clear as a bell just as the song says you loved xmas most of all holidays you had that twinkle in your eye when ever you gave someone a gift or when you got one and I shall always remember that.You where such a sweet boy.
Last xmas was a sad one for me for you had lost that joy due to all the pain killers you where on but I was with you is all that matters to me and in my heart you shall live on and on please know that I shall love you forever and in my heart you shall live on .
My Son you left too soon but it was your lifes journey I had always planned to go first but that was not how it happen so here I am xmas eve missing you and wishing I could hold you and feel you and hear you say hey mom it smells so good what are you cooking, this year my boy I am not cooking dinner I shall go see you brother he is making dinner tomorrow but I am making some meat balls to take along.
I have candles burning like I do every night for you but tonight I just lite a few more than I do. I am lighting the way for your love to enter even if I can not see you I know you are beside and now and always I shall one day fly with you my angel.
There is nothing on this earth that I would want more than to have you to hold me again that shall never be but my soul knows you are part of me always now and forever that is a bond between a mother and her son I carried alone just me and you my sweetness you where under my heart for nine months how can you not be apart of me .So Benji this xmas my hope is like the song says if maybe there is a heaven I shall be with you again.That is my hope blessed xmas my son.Love you forever and beyond your Mother.

My Dear Benji

Susan (Dec 09, 2008)

It is going to be 11 months tomorrow that you are gone I miss you so much.I get so sad thnking about how you suffered but now you are in a better place where there is no pain your spirit is free.I shall always miss you even if I know you have no more pain I am going to go to a candle light service tomorrow with parents that have lost children they are the only ones that understand my sorrow and pain and know what it is like to miss a child I love you Benji now and forever and beyond.Your Mother I shall forever be in this life.

Hi Benji

Susan (Dec 01, 2008)

I went to the hospital today to take the nurses that took such good care of you last Dec.I took a box of dofferent teas and a box of cookies.
I light a candle for Aids Day today baby I am so sad that you are gone I can not go to the hospital again it broke my heart to see the room you suffered so much in.
I do not know how I am going to make it past this holiday season I have this black hole that only you can fill and I shall never see your face or touch you or kiss you again only in my dreams I do dream of you often.I love you my sweet boy so so much I do know you are near me you said you would be I do senc you but its not the same as having you here.
And Christmas was your favorite of year you always did such a great job in your place even the last xmas you had a home,forgive me Benji but I can not put up a tree and I do not think I shall ever since you are gone xmas left with you.
I love you benji help mom make it through this time of the year most are happy and I am glad for for that but I shall not ever be as happy as I use to be when you where in my life.Love Mom.

Benn Site on Gone Too Soon

Susan (Nov 29, 2008)

1969 - 2008
Location North Vancouver Bc Canada
Age 38
Date of Birth 12/03/1969
Date of Death 10/01/2008
Visitors 666 since 29/06/2008
Creator Susan Szabo

My son Benn was my best friend he was always there for me.He called me almost everday and always ended with I love you mom.He would kiss my cheek when he would leave after he would come for a visit.He was a fine youung man that would have given all he had to his family and his friends.I shall never be the same now that he is gone but what a gift I was given when he came into the world .Love you forever my darling son Benn. I watch you take your first step and your last I sat with you the night you died but fell asleep as you took your last breath but that was your journey home my son so that is how it had to be but it breaks my heart not to hear you call me Mom if I had one wish that would be to hear your voice again and to hear you laugh and see your bright eyes.I'll love you forever and beyond.May you be in your angels arms now that you can not be in mine.The days have turned into months now and I miss you so how I wish I could see your smile.You where the sunshine in my life as a little boy you where so so funny you had a great sence of humor and you carried that into your youth and even as an adult.Everyone one you meet seem to take to you and no one could have had a more true friend than you my beloved son Benn. Love you Mom.

good morning Benji

jkapitany (Aug 30, 2008)

Those we love ,don't go away, They walk beside us day by day,unseen,unheard, but ever near, still loved, still missed, still very dear. Just thinking of you!

In the arms of an angel

jkapitany (Aug 23, 2008)

In the arms of an angel, looking down, from up above
In the arms of an angel
Sending down all his love
In the arms of an angel Dwelling high up above
It is sad down below you
Benji, send mom your love
We are left here without you
It is a void,hard to bare
In the arms of an angel
Benji , please hear my prayer
You are missed by your mother
She is sad and alone
In the arms of an angel,
You are far from her home
Would you reach out and kiss her
If only in a dream
In the arms of an angel
please just let her know
In the arms of an angel
you live on , yes we know.
Benji, I talk to mom, and yes she ok, but misses you terribly. Judy

To Dearest Benjis' mother

jkapitany (Aug 16, 2008)

I wish I knew, some magic words to say
To take your pain,hurt,emptiness, sorrow and loneliness away
but at times like this
We realize, That God, who is both wise and Kind
Can do, what none of us can do
And thats' to heal your hurt, and comfort you
So I commend , Sue, to his care
And may He hear,your smallest prayer
And Grant returning peace and comfort to you
As only He alone can do.

When you close your eyes to sleep, picture your sons smile
.When you feel all alone, feel his prescence with you
When you feel the gentle breeze blow against your face
Remember his kisses
When you are sad and feel all alone
Remember his words of assurance to you
When you feel you can't go on
Remember your words of assurance to him
He will always be with you , and his spirit lives on in you.
God has him in his keeping
You have him in your heart!

Hi Benji

Susan (Aug 15, 2008)

I went out for supper tonight I have not gone out to eat on a friday night since you have been gone I sure missed your company.As I was walking home I started to cry just thinking about when you use to have dinner with me and so many things have changed since you been gone sweetie.Do you remember where the north shore news use to be nd fire well that was what 3 years ago now they are finally gettting ready to put up the condos,if you where here you be watching I am sure.The corner on Chesterfielf well guess what the aprartments are almost finished.The one on 14 where you lived it has so changed just a few short months and so much is different since you been gone,My heart breaks when I think of how much you have missed.I love you Benji more than words can say. .I know you told me you would be watching over and you would always be by my side.Love you Sweetie Mom.

My Darling Son

Susan (Aug 11, 2008)

How I miss you Benji if only you could just come and sit with me awhile like we use how I wish that so but it can never be ever again.I know that to never see you again breaks my heart more and more everyday.I told you I would be fine but somedays I am not at all I miss more on sunny days.The smallest of things like today your key chain I am using for a key now well I need to go to my locker and just to pick it and and hold I felt you but I was so so sad for I miss you so.It is 7 months now that you are gone I cry for you today they say tears heat a broken heart well you took my heart with you when you died so how can my heart ever heal with out you .
I light your candle everynight but yesterday Ihad it on all day.I wish I could explain this emptyness I feel this saddness this black hole but I can not there are no words to explain this feeling not here on earth.
I remmeber oh so well the bond you and I had for the moment you where consieved you where mine our souls are one my son that I know for one to carry a child for nine months you where a part of me like I am a part of you but you are gone now so a part of me died with you.You wrote me a poem that you would always be by my side and that is what gives me a little comfort to know that you are watching over me.I miss you I love you forever and beyond. Your Loving Mother I am and always shall be nothing in heave or earth can change that my dear Benji. Love you Mom The picture is the dance of all season by mother earth

My Memory

Susan (Aug 10, 2008)

1969 to 2008
aged: 38
From: North Vancouver Bc Canada


My son Benn was my best friend he was always there for me.He called me almost everday and always ended with I love you mom.He would kiss my cheek when he would leave after he would come for a visit.He was a fine youung man that would have given all he had to his family and his friends.I shall never be the same now that he is gone but what a gift I was given when he came into the world .Love you forever my darling son Benn. I watch you take your first step and your last I sat with you the night you died but fell asleep as you took your last breath but that was your journey home my son so that is how it had to be but it breaks my heart not to hear you call me Mom if I had one wish that would be to hear your voice again and to hear you laugh and see your bright eyes .
Love you forever Mom.



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My Memory

Susan (Aug 10, 2008)

3rd Aug 2008
Judy from Winnipeg relation: friend
Dear Heavingly Father, It's me Judy, and I was just thinking ,a dream I know, but wouldn't it be wonderful, if we light enough candles, they could build a glowing stairway from heaven, where Benji could walk down and visit, I know Lord, he is yours now, and I know Lord, there is no way, he would want to come back to a sad excuse of this world, the way it is, I know Lord, that he has Heaven on earth now, but wouldn't it be wonderful?I know Lord, as I lift up Susan in prayer to you, please Lord help heal her broken heart, just a bit Lord, and I know Lord, that we are never given more than we can handle, as we draw from your help and strength,but wouldn't it be wonderful? I know Lord, I MUST visit Benji's mom, but right now it is impossible, for many reason, and I know Lord, that you know that too!Wouldn't it be wonderful!So Lord I am asking in faith, that in your perfect timing,and your perfect will, that I may have the pleasure of visiting Benjis' mom, won't it be wonderful?So I come to you Father, thanking you for all your blessings, knowing that we sometimes don't understand things and why they happen, but thanking you for our children, our grandchildren ,our families and good friends, and I know Lord, that our children our just lent to us, some for years, some for days,some for hours and maybe just minutes,they are just entrusted to us, but they belong to you. Heaven must be beautiful, no pain, no tears, no sadness!Yes it will be wonderful!!!!!!!

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Tribute Creator

Susan

    North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada